Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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