i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
