Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
