Porn is love you can see.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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