It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
