In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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