Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
