Define "chronic" masturbator.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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