I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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