is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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