Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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