I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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