okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
