Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
