im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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