he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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