It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
