it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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