That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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