I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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