My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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