I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
