This girl is more easily done than said...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
