So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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