i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
