I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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