Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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