Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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