apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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