We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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