Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
