when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
