i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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