the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
