There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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