So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
