R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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