He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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