I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This house was built for laser tag.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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