arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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