I am puke
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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