Jerry, you need to find god
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
