I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wish there were birth control emojis
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The ass gains better be worth it
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