just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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