Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
