i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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