it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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