Who did Billy Mays play for?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
