I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
