"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
