Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
