Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
