We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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