Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
