You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
