i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
