Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My balls are so social today.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
