I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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