I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
