She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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